Sunday, November 28, 2010

And You Thought the TSA Was Messing Around With YOUR Junk . . .

This Thanksgiving week will forever be remembered as the one where "don't touch my junk" became part of the American vernacular.

It also will be remembered as the time when many citizens realized the U.S. Transportation Security Administration (TSA) plans to continue with full-body scans and enhanced pat downs for the foreseeable future.

With that in mind, we need to consider who will lead this effort in years ahead. Our crack Legal Schnauzer research team has come up with just the guy. His name is Tony Jerod-Eddie. He currently plays on the defensive line for the Texas A&M University football team. But he's got a heck of a future with the TSA.

In a recent game against Nebraska, Jerod-Eddie's Aggies forced a fumble, prompting the usual wild scramble for a loose football. Nebraska tight end Ben Cotton made the recovery, but he probably wishes he hadn't.

As officials tried to unpile the players, Jerod-Eddie grasped Cotton in a most delicate location. It was an exam that would make a proctologist proud, but officials missed it. Instead, they saw Cotton kicking blindly at the opposing player who was practicing the wrong kind of "ball handling."

The result? A penalty flag for unsportsmanlike conduct . . . against Cotton.

Thanks to the miracles of YouTube and television cameras--the game was on national TV--we all can see what the officials missed. (See video below; Jerod-Eddie is No. 83 in the maroon jersey.) Texas A&M Coach Mike Sherman said he talked with Jerod-Eddie and warned him about "extracurricular activity" on the field--but he did not suspend the player.

The bottom line? Tony Jerod-Eddie violated another person and got away with it.

Heck, let's forget about Jerod-Eddie and the TSA. He's got all kinds of  potential as a lawyer. Wouldn't be surprised to see him wind up as a judge.


MaxShelby said...

Another good reason to hate the Aggies. Texas blogs are burning up about this one...

legalschnauzer said...

I bet they are. And I bet the Nebraska player still is feeling the after effects.