|Jessica Medeiros Garrison|
In fact, Garrison tosses around copious amounts of curious numbers, all suggesting she has a high opinion of her value as a political consultant/campaign manager. What has she actually accomplished? Well, she got a Republican appointed to statewide office in Alabama. But how hard is that? I probably could scoop up a dead armadillo off the highway and get him elected attorney general if he had an "R" by his name -- unless he had been caught fondling Rebekah Caldwell Mason's boobs.
Heck, Garrison doesn't even have a particularly impressive won-loss record. She helped Strange win in 2010, but she also was on board when he lost the lieutenant governor's race to Jim Folsom in 2006. So she's 1-1 in getting a Republican elected in Alabama? Whoa, let's print out some money for that girl -- she's special!
Keep in mind that this is the same woman who told fashion magazine Marie Claire that she offered to forgo a $3.5-million default judgment if I would pay $1 and remove the offending posts -- even though none of them have been proven false or defamatory, as a matter of law, because there was no trial in the case, much less a jury trial as required under decades of First Amendment law.
Let's take a closer look at some of the eye-raising numbers Garrison pulls seemingly out of thin air. (The transcript is embedded at the end of this post.)
Meet Jessica Garrison, the $10-million gal
Garrison suggests that she has been close to being hired by a high-profile business or organization. Does she name the outfit or provide any other details? Nope. But we have this, from page 68, when lawyer Bill Baxley asks her to quantify her damages:
There are more things I want to do in life and I feel like -- I mean, I have some pretty big goals for myself and I feel like -- like there's one opportunity that I would like to try to pursue now and I can't really seem to get their attention and I can't -- if you look me up, if I were -- this would be a high-profile thing. I wouldn't hire me because even if it's not true, I'm tainted. I've got this thing over my head that she could -- well, maybe there's a little truth to it, maybe. So I just can't help but think that this particular opportunity that I would like -- they were going to meet with me and they haven't. They haven't called and I just can't -- you know, if I were them, I would do all my due diligence and look me up and it's not pretty.
Garrison barely can speak a coherent sentence in this court snippet, but she's supposed to be worth millions? Garrison then proceeds, on pages 69-70, to explain how valuable she would be to this unknown outfit. Asking the questions this time is Judge Don Blankenship, otherwise known as "The Court":
THE COURT: Ms. Garrison, let me ask you a question and let's just go back for a second to what your counsel just asked you about, the amount of money you've had to expend coming to court, traveling and the like to prosecute this lawsuit. Also taking into account the mental anguish that you've gone through and what you think you'll go through, how much of a dollar value would you put on that?
THE WITNESS: I would put a lot.
THE COURT: What's a lot?
THE WITNESS: I would put $10 million.
THE COURT: What do you think you base that on?
THE WITNESS: I think that I could ultimately be in a position where I would be compensated a million dollars a year and I think I've got at least a good ten years of whatever -- that new opportunity I hope eventually I get to. I think I've got at least ten years of work under my belt still to go.
So, we have a mythical organization that is itching to pay Jessica Garrison $10 million over 10 years, but she gives us no details about it -- what does it do, where is it located, who are its leaders, how is she to handle the job, given the restrictions regarding location from her child-custody case?
That's a lot to swallow for now. But we will return shortly with another episode of Jessica Garrison's Wide World of Cash.
(To be continued)