Friday, December 31, 2010

Is Barack Obama Really Our First Black President?

Don "No Soul" Simmons

The year 2010 has been pretty crappy for progressives, and the country in general, with prospects for 2011 not looking much better. Republicans are determined to extend the Bush tax cuts for high-income folks--exactly what an economy strangled by low middle-class demand does not need--so don't look for things to get better any time soon.

We probably could use a few stiff drinks. But as non-drinkers--at least for now--we tend to look elsewhere for comfort. And that means we could use a good belly laugh. Thankfully, with the help of an alert reader, we know just where to find one.

We recently extolled the virtues of the 1987 movie classic Amazon Women on the Moon, which featured the unforgettable character Don "No Soul" Simmons.

Comedian David Alan Grier played the immortal "No Soul" Simmons and has gone on to appear in a number of TV shows, including Comedy Central's Chocolate News.

A reader saw our earlier post and let us know that Grier has revealed some shocking news--Barack Obama isn't black!

"For you white people out there who refuse to vote for a black man, I've got news for you," Grier says. "He's not black. He's half black; he barely passes the brown paper bag test."

What do we need in a truly black president? Grier offers some guidance:

"Would I like a black black president? Well, of course. But I'm talking Don Cheadle black. Dijmon Hounsu black. Wesley Snipes before he f----d up his taxes black. Stephen Hawking's black-hole black. I'm talking 'can't catch a cab in New York City' black.'"

What does Grier want? Someone with "undeniable, incontrovertible, unforgivable blackness."

Grier wants a black president who, when he steps to the podium at the United Nations, causes foreign dignitaries to go, "Oh no, not this m----f----r . . . "

The video below was filmed just before the 2008 election, and Grier has a hysterical take on the McCain-Palin ticket. Grier leaves us with perhaps the most important question of our age, particularly in the aftermath of the 2010 midterm elections: "White folks, have you lost your damned minds?"

Grier is one funny dude, and he will convince you that we still are a long way from having a black president. He also helps ring out a crappy year with some welcome guffaws:

Chocolate NewsWednesdays 10:30pm / 9:30c
First Black President?
Ugly AmericansNick Swardson's Pretend TimeThe Benson Interruption

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