Is Disbarment a Deterrent?

News recently came that Scooter Libby, Vice President Dick Cheney's former chief of staff, had been disbarred.

The disbarment came as a result of Libby's convictions last year for perjury and obstruction of justice in a White House leak investigation.

The issues of disbarment and lawyer discipline are of considerable interest here at Legal Schnauzer. A central figure in our story, Pelham, Alabama, attorney William E. Swatek, has faced serious and repeated discipline during his almost 30-year legal career.

Swatek has had his license suspended. And like Libby, Swatek faced criminal charges of perjury. Unlike Libby, Swatek somehow managed to get off--even though public documents point overwhelmingly to his guilt.

Escaping a felony conviction allowed Swatek to avoid disbarment. But even if Swatek had been disbarred, would that have kept me--and a number of his own clients--from being victimized?

My research indicates the answer to that question is probably no. And that is an indictment of a justice system that has a preposterously weak system for disciplining lawyers. In fact, it's barely better than no discipline system at all.

How terrible is the system for trying to keep lawyers in line? Consider Libby's crimes. Our justice system is built on the notion that people must tell the truth under oath. If that notion is abused, particularly by lawyers who are sworn to uphold the law, our system collapses. A lawyer who lies under oath is equivalent to a doctor intentionally making patients sick.

What would happen to a doctor who was found to have intentionally made patients sick? I'm not an expert on the subject, but my guess is such a doctor would be disqualified from the profession permanently.

How was Scooter Libby punished for an equivalent crime in the legal profession. He will be disbarred until at least 2012. So he's probably looking at four whole years of not practicing law. Four years for lying under oath!

What about Bill Swatek? In the early 1980s, the Alabama State Bar found Swatek guilty of acts involving "dishonesty, fraud, deceit, and misrepresentation." The Bar also found that Swatek had engaged in conduct that "adversely reflects on his fitness to practice law."

So the State Bar found that Bill Swatek was dishonest and essentially unfit to practice law. And what was his big punishment? His license was suspended for 60 days--you heard that right, 60 whole days! And he's been disciplined twice more since then! And one of those cases involved five complaints rolled into one!

(Sorry for all of the exclamation points. I'm hyperventilating here.)

Swatek then faced criminal charges for perjury. In a decision that rivals the O.J. Simpson verdict, Swatek was found not guilty--and that evidently allowed him to avoid disbarment. Many more details are coming on Swatek's criminal trial and his numerous run-ins with the Alabama State Bar.

Even had he been disbarred, Swatek probably would have gotten his bar card back after a few years. So folks like me still would have been cheated by a lawyer who should have been drummed out of the profession years ago.

Here's what's so appalling about the current state of our justice system. At worst, you would think the legal profession would treat Swatek like a pariah. But, nooooooooo!

Shelby County judges give him every break in the book--and quite a few breaks that aren't in the book. They repeatedly make unlawful rulings to Swatek's benefit. And even the Shelby County clerk and sheriff sign off on bogus actions at Swatek's behest without batting an eye. And this is a lawyer with a 30-year record of acting corruptly!

Has Bill Swatek changed as a result of all the "discipline" that has been heaped upon him for his various transgressions? Our story will show that he hasn't changed one bit. Our story will show that he is still unfit to practice law.

Lawyers like Bill Swatek are not remotely afraid of the legal profession's disciplinary system. I'm just one of many citizens who have paid a major price for that.

Trust me when I tell you that you will not believe some of the things Bill Swatek has done in his legal "career." He has committed acts so bizarre, so corrupt, so over-the-top that I could not possibly make them up.

Thankfully, I don't need to make them up because they are all true--and they are right in the public record for anyone to read. But you don't have to go digging through the archives to find out just what a sleazebag Bill Swatek truly is. I've done all of that for you, and I will share these goodies here at Legal Schnauzer in the near future.

But keep this in mind: Bill Swatek, this guy who has committed mind-bogglingly corrupt and incompetent acts, stuff the most imaginative novelist could not think up, is an "officer of the court" in Alabama. As such, he has the power to sign off on documents that cause the Shelby County Sheriff to threaten an unlawful seizure of my house.

Here's something else to keep in mind: For years, we've heard Republican operatives drone on about how "character counts." Well, Bill Swatek is the father of a prominent Republican operative, Dax Swatek. And Dax Swatek has direct ties to many key figures in the Don Siegelman saga--Bill Canary, Bob Riley, Alice Martin, etc.

So what are Republicans talking about when they chant, "Character counts?"

Keep reading Legal Schnauzer, and you will find out what kind of character Bill Swatek has. And his slimy tentacles connect to the very top of Republican political circles in Alabama.

Miss California Isn't The Only Conservative Female Hypocrite Out There

Thanks to Carrie Prejean, Miss California in the Miss USA contest, conservative female hypocrisy has become front-page news.

But Ms. Prejean, who it was announced yesterday will keep her crown, is hardly alone when it comes to women who are phony balonies about their "conservative values."

In fact, we know of a wannabe movie star who has Alabama roots and probably is a far bigger phony than Carrie Prejean could ever think of being. For good measure, our "Hollywood conservative" has strong connections to our Legal Schnauzer story.

Prejean stepped in doo-doo when, after declaring herself a gold-plated Christian and trashing the idea of gay marriage, semi-nude photographs of her showed up on the Web.

That didn't look so good. But when it comes to female conservative hypocrisy, Ms. Prejean is a minor leaguer compared to Barret Swatek.

Who is Barret Swatek? You've probably never heard the name because she is a 32-year-old "actress" with hardly a decent credit to her name. Perhaps she is best known for a recurring role in the television series 7th Heaven from 2000 to 2003.

She was in the hit movie, The 40 Year Old Virgin, as "bar girl." I haven't seen the movie, but I understand Swatek shared billing with a potted plant. I hear that if you bent down to take a sip of your Coke, you missed her "star turn."

What are her connections to our Legal Schnauzer tale? Swatek grew up in Birmingham, and her father is William E. Swatek, the sleazebag attorney who filed a bogus lawsuit against me on behalf of our criminally inclined neighbor, Mike McGarity. Daddy Swatek has a 30-year history of ethical violations with the Alabama State Bar, including a suspension of his license and a criminal trial on perjury charges.

Barret Swatek's brother is Dax Swatek, a Republican "consultant" in Montgomery with ties to Bill Canary, Karl Rove, and other GOP "luminaries." Interestingly, news comes today that Dax's name appears in a subpoena as part of an investigation of Alabama Attorney General Troy King. That could get interesting. More on that coming up pronto. I'm hearing that Dax has some other potentially major legal woes on his plate. Hmmm.

Another brother, Chace Swatek, reportedly flunked the California bar exam and flopped as a real-estate developer on Alabama's Gulf Coast before returning home to try his hand in Daddy's slimy law practice.

Since Barret Swatek has a scant track record and little discernible talent, her main claim to fame seems to be that she is a "Hollywood conservative." Gee, she's even appeared with Sean Hannity. What a gal!

How does Swatek display her bedrock conservative values? Well, she has an interesting way of doing that.

The New York Post reported in 2004 that Swatek and Hollywood producer Mike DeLuca had been an item for about a year. Calling DeLuca a "tomcat," the Post reported:

FORMER New Line and DreamWorks mogul Mike DeLuca (now an independent producer) has a new girlfriend -- "7th Heaven" actress Barret Swatek , 27. To many people's surprise in Hollywood, DeLuca, who is known as a tomcat, has dated Swatek for almost a year. They've been through a lot. In a romantic mishap six months ago, "Mike was carrying her down the stairs of his home and missed a step," a source reports. The two went tumbling down the stairs "and they both broke their ankles. They were seen all around town in matching casts and crutches." Swatek is said to be a die-hard pro-George Bush Republican like DeLuca.

How cute! They were both for Dubya.

Is DeLuca really a tomcat? You might say that--if you want to give tomcats a bad name.

DeLuca has had his share of hits on the big screen--The Mask, Dumb and Dumber, Seven, Boogie Nights, Wag the Dog. But he seems to have a fondness for receiving oral sex--in public places. As one reporter put it:

Michael De Luca is best known for receiving a blowjob at age 32 from the sister of actor Cary Elwes and producer Cassian Elwes in front of guests (such as ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGER, EMMA THOMPSON, JOHN MALKOVICH and QUENTIN TARANTINO) at a pre-Oscar party thrown by then head of the William Morris motion picture division, Arnold Rifkin at his home in March, 1998. De Luca and the woman were escorted from the party by security guards.

DeLuca's "tomcat" ways don't end there:

At his surprise 32nd birthday party at Lucky Cheng's in New York, De Luca was photographed having a transvestite lick whipped cream off his bare chest for a photo spread in Creme & SuGar magazine.

And you gotta love these conservative values:

De Luca exudes a don't-give-a-damn attitude. He has a record of public fistfights and drunken driving. He prefers to wear denim and leather over suits and ties and enjoys riding a Harley.

Heck, this guy would have been a perfect fit in the Family Swatek. But alas, it appears he and Barret went their separate ways. Maybe he was too conservative for her.

At last report, our gal Barret is starring in an Internet sitcom called My Two Fans. (Sounds like an appropriate title.) The Swateks must have connections at The Birmingham News because the newspaper goes to almost comic lengths in an attempt to portray Barret as a legit movie star.

The paper recently tabbed her "Queen of the World Wide Web."

I've got news for our local fishwrapper. Being called "Queen of the World Wide Web" ain't exactly a compliment. Quite a few "queens of the Web" probably draw far bigger audiences than Barret Swatek ever will. They are called amateur porn stars.

Mike De Luca probably would like to meet them.