Now that's funny; in fact, I'm having trouble wiping the smile off my face. So why do we love lawyer jokes so much? Here is my best guess: Lawyers, or at least quite a few of them, have demonstrated a unique "talent" for dishonesty -- and they often charge us outlandish fees while they lie to us.
It's unfortunate to say this, but my own brother -- Springfield, Missouri, attorney David Shuler -- provides a classic example. I grew up in a family where I thought everyone had a strong sense of right and wrong. David has proven me wrong about that. Consider this from an e-mail he sent me, dated 8/25/15. It came after I had served him with a counterclaim I had filed in the eviction lawsuit filed against me by landlord Trent Cowherd. I only served David because Cowherd had filed a baseless lawsuit against our mother, Gondy Shuler, because she was co-signor on our lease, and David was (at least on the surface) representing her:
I appreciate you sending me a copy of your pleadings. Your counterclaim seems to indicate that I somehow want to be involved in your legal proceedings. Nothing could be further from the truth. For some reason, people keep contacting me regarding issues they are having with you. Maybe it is because I have a law degree and they think I will know what to do. . . .
Roger, I have no hard feelings toward you and I wanted to make it clear that I have never wanted to be involved in your business. For some reason, people keep calling me about you and I am stupid and think I can help.
I will likely see you in court on Thursday, but unless absolutely necessary, you will have no further contact from me.
Again, I wish you the best.
He wishes me the best? He's never wanted to be involved in my business? Does this guy reside on Planet Lie-A-Tron? We invite you to check out the document embedded at the end of this post. It's a letter David wrote to Kelly Halford Rose, the judge in our eviction case. He wrote it four days before he wrote the e-mail noted above.
In the first paragraph, he trashes me repeatedly, falsely claiming I had refused to pay rent or move out of our duplex apartment. We now know that Cowherd could not commence eviction proceedings, under Missouri law, until our rent had been late for at least one month -- and ours was late by five days. Does David mention that to Judge Halford? Nope, he's too busy making my wife, Carol, and me sound like squatters.
In the second paragraph, David makes it clear that he really is not representing my mother. He is trying to help Cowherd regain possession of property that, by law, it is not entitled to regain. Translation: David wishes me "the best," but he's doing his damnedest to make Carol and me homeless; he doesn't want to be involved in my business, but he is making every effort to be involved in our business -- by aligning himself against us (and with an unethical landlord and a corrupt judge).
Most normal people cannot imagine lying like that, particularly about fairly important matters of shelter. Most normal people cannot imagine being that two-faced. But quite a few lawyers can do it -- and David Shuler is one of them.