Public defender Patty Poe gets in a huff about her stellar legal credentials, but if she's so gifted, why did she turn to a friend for help with law in Carol's case?

Patty Poe, on law-school graduation day
(From facebook.com)

When public defender Patty Poe informed us that her analysis of Carol's "assault" case in Missouri was based largely on the words of an unknown "friend," it was all we could do to keep from guffawing. Here, we thought all along that Poe was Carol's attorney, and it turns out Poe had a "mini Me" pulling her strings the whole time?

That was not the only moment of dark comedy -- one might call it absurdity -- in our communications with Poe.

During our final in-person meeting on Oct. 30, we challenged Poe several times about her assertions that our eviction in Springfield, MO, on Sept. 9, 2015, was lawful.

At one point, we must have struck a nerve because Poe got her back up, and speaking in her most huffy voice, said, "Let's get this straight. I went to law school for three years, I paid $300 to take the bar exam, I passed the bar exam, and I'm licensed to practice law -- and you haven't done any of those things."

As we say down South, "I'll de-clay-ah, aren't we soooo special?"

This is where comedy really enters the picture. Poe's rant about her credentials came less than five minutes after she told us about consulting her friend -- a supposed expert in the area of tenant/landlord law -- about various issues regarding the legality of our eviction.

Her friend, by the way, had no name, no affiliations, no location, no gender, no address, no cell phone number, maybe not even a law degree. But this veritable ghost was making decisions about Carol's case. Plus, he or she apparently was allowed to hear details about Carol's case, even though we had the impression Carol might be protected by this little item called "attorney-client confidentiality."

Sensing that Poe already was bent out of shape, and she perhaps knew she had stepped in it big-time, I decided not to let these words pass my lips. But here is what went through my mind: "If your legal education is so great, and your ability to pass the bar is so impressive, why did you need to consult a mystery friend to understand the incomprehensible vagaries of Missouri tenant-landlord law?

"Did they not have a course on legal research at the University of Missouri School of Law? Did you take such a course and skip it -- or sleep through it? Hell, I've conducted legal research to help write what has been ranked among the top 50 law blogs in North America -- and I've yet to have anyone prove my legal research to be inaccurate. I just went to the lowly Missouri J-School, but I can conduct legal research, and you have to rely on a friend to do it?"

As you can see, I was carrying on a bit of a rant in my mind. But here's where legitimate anger rose to a boil. Poe had admitted up front that the legality of the eviction was critical -- if it was unlawful, any evidence gathered in violation of the Fourth Amendment would be suppressed. And that would gut an already weak case for the state. Plus, Poe said right up top that she spent her time on criminal cases and knew almost nothing about tenant/landlord law.

"Fine," we said, "We'll be glad to help with research. We've lived tenant/landlord law for the past two years, so we know a thing or two about it." Poe seemed to think that was reasonable, and in that spirit, Carol sent her a series of five emails, focusing on issues related to the case -- including legality of the eviction.

Carol's research was on point, supported by citations to law, and concisely stated. Was Poe grateful to have a client who was engaged in the process -- and intelligent and committed enough to help shred the prosecution's case? No, all she did was bitch about it -- claiming (falsely) that this was wrong and that was wrong. Not once did she use a correct citation to law to show anything in Carol's analysis was faulty.

Poe did, however, have this friend -- the one with no name, address, credentials, etc. -- and we were supposed to believe anything this ghostly person said.

Perhaps you can understand why I have zero respect for Patty Poe, and Carol feels the same way. Poe might as well take a class on legal ethics and learn to tell the truth, because she is a piss-poor liar.

Here's the kicker: Poe did not just (falsely) claim that the eviction was lawful. She said, over and over, that it didn't matter whether it was lawful or not.

Now, that is a serious crock of elephant feces, and we will turn to it next.