To "Doctor Love" Bentley, putting his "hands under" aide Rebekah Mason is not a form of sexual activity

Dr. Robert Bentley has proven he is not much of a governor for Alabama, but he sure has potential as a highly creative sex educator.

Bentley acknowledged at a press conference yesterday making "inappropriate remarks" to aide Rebekah Caldwell Mason, but he denied the two had engaged in "sexual activity." But an audio recording published at multiple news outlets has Bentley talking fondly to Mason about "putting my hands under you." He also says, "When I stand behind you, and I put my arms around you, and I put my hands on your breasts . . . hey, I love that, too."

Sounds like "Doctor Love" was doing more than talking dirty. How would he know he loves certain activities if he had not already engaged in them?

Where are such acts not regarded as sexual activity? Maybe on "Planet Lovetron," made famous by the late basketball quipster Darryl Dawkins. But on this particular planet, where most of us live, Bentley's words undeniably describe that "sexy thang." And Bentley must think the people of Alabama are abominably dense if he expects them to buy his story.

The "Love Doctor," with his aide
who has bodacious boobs and
a fine behind.

The real dunderhead, of course, is Bentley himself. Via national coverage at The New York Times, Washington Post, New York Daily News, and The Rachel Maddow Show, Bentley comes across as the creepy grandpa everyone hopes they'll never have to spend time with alone.

In a sign that karma really is a "bee-atch," former First Lady Dianne Bentley, who ended her 50-year marriage to the governor because of the Mason affair, played a major role in exposing the "lovebirds." That's from the conservative Alabama political site Yellowhammer News and a report by publisher Cliff Sims:

Yellowhammer was given exclusive access to the content of audio recordings captured by Dianne Bentley, Governor Bentley’s ex-wife, during which Governor Bentley makes sexual advances on and recalls sexual encounters with Rebekah Mason, his former communications director who has since become his most senior external advisor. Mrs. Mason’s husband, Jon, also serves in the Bentley administration as Director of Serve Alabama, the Governor’s Office of Faith-Based and Volunteer Service.

One of the recordings was captured while Governor and Mrs. Bentley were visiting their beach house.

Mrs. Bentley, who had suspected the affair, went for a walk on the beach, but left her cell phone behind recording the audio of what took place in her absence.

During that time period, Governor Bentley can be heard making a phone call to “Rebekah” that includes sexual references to their time together. The Governor also expressed a desire to “FaceTime” so they could see each other.

Maybe Mrs. Bentley has a future as a private investigator, a female Barnaby Jones. (Barnaby was famous for going into bars and asking bartenders for a cold glass of milk. That's the kind of wholesome guy Mrs. Bentley needs and deserves. Unfortunately, Buddy Ebsen, the great actor who played Barnaby [and Jed Clampett] has gone to that big TV studio in the sky.) Anyway, here's more from Yellowhammer:

A second recording appears to have been made at the Governor’s residence.

In the recordings, the Governor calls Mrs. Mason “baby” and discusses how much he enjoys standing behind her and touching her breasts. He also references a past encounter and says if they are going to do “that” again, they will need to start locking the door and also consider moving “Wanda’s” desk further away, presumably referencing executive assistant Wanda Kelly, whose Capitol office is just outside of the Governor’s.

References were also made to encounters that took place at Blount House, a 12,336-square-foot, Georgian-style home in Montgomery that serves as a second Governor’s Mansion. The property was donated to the state in 2008 by the family of the late businessman Wynton “Red” Blount. It was valued at $28 million at the time.

Perhaps "Dr. Love" Bentley deserves credit for something. Unlike other conservative politicos who have taken a "wide stance" with their marriage vows, Bentley at least did the "schwing thing" with a woman--and she's pretty good looking, at that.

Perhaps it's reassuring to some that lurking beneath that Montgomery Burns exterior was an inner Hugh Hefner all along.

One final note: This has not been widely reported, but the taping of Bentley's apology video included a number of outtakes. Here they are: