Alice Martin: Liar, Liar

Folks who have been paying attention know that Alice Martin, U.S. attorney for the Northern District of Alabama, is a liar.

In fact, it has been proven that Martin has no problems lying under oath. That's an act commonly known as perjury, and it's something most of us could get in big trouble for doing. But not Alice Martin.

So it should not come as a surprise when I tell you that Alice Martin lied her conservative behind off in her comments for the Raw Story article about my firing at UAB.

As a refresher, here is the primary segment about Martin from the Raw Story piece:

Martin says Shuler's allegations don't fall under her office's purview.

"Mr. Shuler has made, in writing and in person, numerous allegations against various individuals to my office which, if memory serves deals with civil litigation," she wrote in an email to RAW STORY Wednesday. "Many of his allegations are set forth on his blog."

"The US Attorney, when receiving complaints, refers them to an appropriate federal or investigative agency, as we do not investigate cases," she added. "His complaints were forwarded to the US Postal Inspection Service, as I advised him in my email, as he asserted the mails were involved. He was also advised to contact the Alabama Bar Association. He met with an Assistant US Attorney and presented no evidence of an offense, only has opinions, [and was referred to agencies] that could conduct an independent investigation. I have no knowledge of him contacting those agencies."

She also denied her office was in any way involved with Shuler's termination.

"There has been no contact by the office to Mr Shuler's employer," she wrote.

Let us ponder some of the pure excrement that is oozing from Martin's quotes:

* Martin says Shuler's allegations don't fall under her office's purview.

Holy Heath Ledger, Batman! You mean federal prosecutors are not involved with federal crimes? We'd better bring the Batmobile to a screeching halt and stop the presses! Don't know if the citizens of Gotham City can handle this one. And by the way, Batman: If federal prosecutors aren't involved with federal crimes, what, pray tell, do federal prosecutors do?

* "Mr. Shuler has made, in writing and IN PERSON, numerous allegations against various individuals to my office which, if memory serves, deals with CIVIL LITIGATION."

In person? I've never laid eyes on Alice Martin or anyone else in her office. I don't even know where her office is located. That's because I've never been there.

Civil Litigation? What point is Martin trying to make here? That federal crimes can't be committed in civil litigation? Perhaps she should try telling that to Mississippi attorney Paul Minor and former state judges Wes Teel and John Whitfield, who currently are in federal prison for alleged crimes that arose from civil litigation.

* "Many of his allegations are set forth ON HIS BLOG."

Well, what do you know? Alice can tell the truth sometimes. She admits to reading my blog. Of course, I know from checking my blog statistics that numerous folks from "usdoj.gov" servers have been reading Legal Schnauzer. Despite that, wouldn't it have been smarter for Martin to respond to Raw Story by saying something like, "I've never heard of this Shuler dude, and I have no idea what a Legal Schnauzer is. Is that anything like a labradoodle? I'm busy arresting teachers for failing to execute their lessons plans. I don't have time to dilly dally around with blogs." I'm still amazed that Martin didn't claim she had no idea who I was.

* "His complaints were forwarded to the U.S. POSTAL INSPECTION SERVICE . . . "

Which according to its own Web site, does not have jurisdiction to investigate possible violations of 18 U.S. Code 1346 (honest services mail fraud). Such violations must be investigated by this agency we call the FBI, an agency Martin made sure did not receive my allegations. In short, Martin sent my charges to the prosecutorial equivalent of Siberia, where they remain buried in cold storage--even in the midst of an Alabama summer.

* "He was also advised to contact the ALABAMA BAR ASSOCIATION . . . "

I published Alice Martin's "snail mail" response to me here, and a "child of three can plainly see" that she does not advise me to contact the Alabama State Bar. She also made no such suggestion in her e-mail communications with me. Even Alice Martin knows the Alabama State Bar is not in the business of investigating crimes, and it sure as heck is not in the business of investigating federal crimes.

* "He MET WITH an Assistant U.S. Attorney and presented NO EVIDENCE OF AN OFFENSE . . . "

Again, Alice appears to be living in Wonderland. I never met with an assistant U.S. attorney. As I stated earlier, I've never set foot in Martin's office or laid eyes on any members of her staff. I did, by some miracle, manage to reach Assistant U.S. Attorney Matt Hart via telephone one day, and after a brief conversation, he informed me "I kick cases all the time, and I'm going to kick yours." Pretty good attitude for a public servant, don't you think?

And presented "no evidence of an offense?" I posted the six-page letter I sent to Martin, and it was filled with evidence. And had Martin shown the slightest interest in actually doing her job, I would have sent her the entire case file, which shows blatant corruption by Alabama Republican judges.

* "There has been no contact by the office to Mr. Shuler's employer."

How positively Rovian. And how appropriate, considering that Karl Rove almost certainly is responsible for Martin's appointment as U.S. attorney.

Let's pick this statement apart:

Notice that Martin says there has been "no contact by the office." That doesn't mean there hasn't been contact by some of her GOP political supporters.

Notice that Martin says "to Mr. Shuler's employer." Well, Mr. Shuler's employer was UAB. But who oversees UAB? The University of Alabama Board of Trustees, which includes Martin's compatriot, Governor Bob Riley, as ex officio president. So Martin and her GOP hatchemen have all sorts of ways to put pressure on "Mr. Shuler's employer" without doing it directly.

Sort of reminds you of Karl Rove's "answers" to written questions from Rep. Lamar Smith (R-TX) doesn't it?

And notice how Martin did not submit herself to questions from Raw Story reporter Lindsay Beyerstein. Another Rovian trick. Martin appears to be answering questions without actually answering questions at all.

In fact, that's the very same tactic UAB officials have used. President Carol Garrison issued a "statement" upon apparently receiving public heat over my termination. But did Garrison or anyone else at UAB submit themselves to questioning from Ms. Beyerstein? Did Garrison or anyone at UAB present any documents to support their claims that my termination was "solely related to work performance" and had nothing to do with "politics or conspiracies?"

Not on your life.

Heck, Beyerstein reports that most folks at UAB wouldn't even confirm their titles or the correct spellings of their names.

Got to love the transparency that emanates from UAB's campus on Birmingham's Southside--and from Alice Martin's office, which I understand is somewhere downtown. Isn't it interesting that the behavior of Martin and the behavior of UAB officials pretty much forms a mirror image these days?