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Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Contrary to official reports, poop that befouled an Alabama beach is from humans and not from geese

(From lagniappemobile.com)
Tests on feces that washed ashore in south Alabama reportedly reveal that birds, not humans, were the source of the icky finding. But a consumer group devoted to exposing political corruption in the area says the tests were a sham. A video taken of the befouled beach appears to support the consumer group's claim that it's human waste, not goose poop. that washed up on sand.

The Ripp Report (TRR), published by F. Paul Ripp, blames Tim Kant, mayor of Fairhope (a town across the bay from Mobile), for perpetrating a scam on the public. A report at the TRR Facebook page said goose poop from the area was gathered and sent to Auburn University for testing. But workers, apparently at the direction of Mayor Kant, did not gather fecal samples that obviously appear to be from humans or animals much larger than geese. In some instances, it looks like elephants have been hanging around the Fairhope beach. (See link to video at the end of this post.)

In fact, TRR reports that its sources say the poop is from humans--and it came from pier bathrooms that were being renovated at the time of the incident. The Auburn tests showed no human feces because no human feces was sent to the lab. And that likely is because no one from Auburn or the Alabama Department of Emergency Management (ADEM) was involved in the collection process.

Only goose poop, available in relatively small amounts, was sent--and that means geese have been left to wrongfully take the crap--I mean rap. Reports TRR, in a post titled "Scoop on Poop":

With a viral video and a flash of media coverage, the media lost interest and did no investigation as to the source of the infamous poop. The Ripp Report, however, had a very reliable source come forward and offer information, we also have caught Mayor Kant lying so many times that we knew he would stay true to form.

The sample sent to Auburn was NOT collected by Auburn or ADEM. It was actually collected by two employees of the sewer plant, dispatched by the manager of the plant. This information took over two weeks to obtain. The mayor ordered the sample taken, and then [told] the public that Auburn and ADEM were in charge of an independent,  unbiased report on water quality at a public beach, which is totally FALSE.

The test results proved the poop on the beach, COLLECTED, was geese poop. If they collected geese poop, then they knew the test would come back as geese poop. This is classic Kant. Now if you viewed the video [and] are a sober adult and had the unfortunate experience of seeing human poop, you know Kant is full of BS.

TRR goes on to report what appears to be obvious from a video that area resident Elliott Gordon shot. These are human turds, and some of them look like they were deposited by the Dallas Cowboys defensive line after a dinner of baked beans and wieners. If we have geese dropping "bombs" like these, all of us need to wear industrial-strength helmets upon going outside. And TRR sources know where the human feces came from:

Our source is telling us it came from the pier bathrooms, which were under renovation at the exact time of the incident. The holding tank of raw sewage is suspended under the bathrooms, you can see it easily. The contractor is George Robards, who constantly gets contracts from the city as well as the Single Tax Colony for sidewalks, bathrooms, etc. Mr. Robards sits on Planning and Zoning, is a major contributor [to] Mayor Kant and friend of Lee Turner, who is in heading both Planning and Zoning and Single Tax--no poop, one big happy family, but no conflict of interest?

Our source and the history of the pier clearly show this has happened before and has been the subject of a lawsuit. That’s why the city could not take responsibility, liability, forget about public safety, let's protect the good ole boys at all costs.

Mayor Kant blames the geese, kills the geese and will continue to do so, ignoring the problem and public safety. It will happen again; Auburn and ADEM suggested the public collect samples at the time of the incident. You cannot believe the mayor or council members who have never looked into a toilet.

Blaming geese for an administration's inability to fix toilets without spreading human feces everywhere? What a sh---y thing to do.

Here is a link to video of feces on the beach.

This controversy would not be complete without a reaction from Hitler. Turns out The Fuhrer is mighty pissed to see poop on one of his favorite beaches.


Anonymous said...

Officials think that is goose poop? Who do they think they are kidding?

Anonymous said...

Hitler's right: Those really are long, brown logs.

Anonymous said...

Those gooses need to hire a lawyer and sue for defamation. I'll be darned if I would take such scurrilous accusations sitting down.

Anonymous said...

The mayor of Fairhope must be a Republican. Only a member of the GOP could believe the public is stupid enough to believe his crappy explanation.

legalschnauzer said...

Fairhope is in Baldwin County, which generally is considered one of the two most conservative counties in Alabama--the other being Shelby County, south of Birmingham. Baldwin County is where votes for Democrat Don Siegelman mysteriously disappeared overnight, giving the 2002 governor's race to Bob Riley.

Both Baldwin and Shelby are physically beautiful areas, but in terms of governance and justice, they are corrupt hellholes.

Anonymous said...

Anybody seen a 275-pound goose lately? Some of those turds were left by something that weighs at least that much.

Chuckles said...

I'm like Hitler. I've always wondered about that peanuts thing, why we can't digest them. If word got out about peanut-infested turds on an Alabama beach, boy, what a PR disaster that would be for the Department of Tourism!

Anonymous said...

Maybe this needs to be the new state song of Alabama . . .


Anonymous said...

If I'm an SEC football coach, I'm heading straight to the beach for a DNA sample on some of these turds. The biggest ones look like they were left by someone who is about 6-8, 375. And I'd want to track down that person to play left tackle.

Mother Goose said...

So how do I get my good name back? How can my children (goslings) live in this city knowing that every eye is cast with a wary, "there's the mad shifting goose"?

Tim Kant and his fowl hating henchman, Mike Ford must pay. Tim Kant looks like a bird with his Turkey neck; you would think he would be sympathetic. Sad day.

legalschnauzer said...

I agree, Mother Goose. You've been smeared, and I would love to refer you to a good, honest, hard-working lawyer--if I only knew of one. If any of our readers know of a lawyer who could help Mother Goose, please let me know. Surely someone could take this case pro bono to help Mother Goose; she doesn't need to be paying $300 an hour.

Anonymous said...

Are horses allowed on that beach? Some of those turds look like something Secretariat would drop.

Anonymous said...

I think it looks like poop, but I don't think human poop would look like that after being in the water, waves, and current. Not sure if goose poo stays together under those conditions either. My first thought was mud mixed with something like oil, tar, or some chemicals that has been through a pipe.

Anonymous said...

Hitler and his minions are cut from the same cloth as fairhope's political, law enforcement and other factions. Totally corrupt. Drug addicted flunkies and corrupt pastors' rapist descendants do whatever to the nicest individuals in town. Physically beautiful area filled with racist old men and their fear-filled wives and children. Kkk rallies and rules here. Cops are all dirty. Planting evidence, etc. Is a regular occurrence. Public works employees spy on private citizens, etc. Kkk all the way.